I just got a telephone call asking me if I thought Obama is doing a good job. “It’s not going to matter anyway,” I replied, “once the mother ship returns and my Beloved Overlord makes slaves of your entire species.” You can imagine the pollster’s response: nothing, since I was being polled by a recording. [...]
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Do Not Reuse
Finally. On June 8, Maine voters will narrow down the field of 6,391 irrelevant candidates for governor to two irrelevant candidates for governor. I have to admit – I paid almost no attention to this election until I noticed the words “Do Not Reuse” on the side of a bottle of apple juice. Initially, this [...]
I Touched a Nerve
“You sir, are a fool and an idiot,” said the first email. Hey, at least I’m multitasking.
Crazy Busy
“The human race will eventually die of civilization.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson Springtime: the time when a man’s fancy turns to thoughts of how insanely fricking busy he is all the time. Every May, it’s the same. All the day planners and appointment calendars belonging to everyone I know fill up like water balloons on [...]
Immigrants: Ruining America Since 1607
Maine has a reputation for not being friendly to outsiders. It turns out we could learn a thing or two from Arizona and Alabama. Arizona, as you probably know, just passed a law saying you can be jailed if you aren’t carrying your driver’s license with you. Oops, I meant to say, you can be [...]
I See London, I See France…
Like many parents, I have the amazing ability to work myself into a complete panic over some unlikely catastrophe. When my wife and daughter go someplace without me, I imagine the grisly details of some car crash, up to the moment when I have to identify their bodies. What parent hasn’t shuddered to think what [...]
Finding Condom Sense Solutions to the Education Crisis
In Wisconsin, which is a lot like Maine in terms of the number of crazed politicians per capita, one district attorney recently wrote a “friendly warning” to health teachers that they could be prosecuted for “contributing to the delinquency of a minor” if they follow a new state law allowing them to teach about contraception. [...]
Me: 1, William Shatner: 0
If you’ve been watching those clever commercials for Priceline.com, the ones with William Shatner as “The Negotiator,” and you’re thinking you might try to use their services to save some money on your next vacation, I have some advice for you. Don’t. Go through a local travel agent instead. I’m begging you.
Health Care: Time to Facebook Reality
Facebook recently surpassed Google as the most visited website in the world. Accordingly, I am now using Facebook to gather all my information. For instance, check out this nugget of wisdom about health care reform, which originated from God-knows-where: “This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public [...]
Outrage All the Rage
by chuck mckay on 04. Jun, 2010 in Commentary, Featured
Grab a newspaper, close your eyes, and point to a random spot, and you’ll get funny looks from other people in the coffee shop. But try it anyway. Chances are, your finger will land on some outrage. It seems reporters can’t take two steps without bumping into someone who’s outraged about something. Take Referendum Question [...]