There Will Be An Answer, Les It Be

Every good campaign needs a strong theme song.  Bruce Springsteen’s No Surrender will forever be associated with John Kerry’s 2004 campaign for the Presidency.  Hillary Clinton went with a Celine Dion song in 2008, though her husband, President Clinton, preferred Smash Mouth.  Artist will.i.am made the Emmy-winning Yes We Can for the Obama campaign, though Stevie Wonder’s Signed Sealed Delivered served as the 2008 Obama anthem.  Mike Huckabee tried to use Boston’s More Than A Feeling until he was asked to stop.

A few weeks ago on DRIVE TIME, we began exploring the idea of what songs might work for Maine’s 2010 gubernatorial candidates.  If an exciting Presidential campaign merits a soundtrack, surely an exciting gubernatorial race does as well.  Instead of just picking an anthem, we decided, candidates should rewrite the songs.  I’ve taken the liberty of rewriting the beginnings or main verses of some songs that I strongly suggest the candidates use.  Choose wisely!

Bruce Poliquin – The Magic Bruce Bus
Bruce Poliquin is busy cruising around the state in his customized Poliquin for Governor RV.  It’s going to take some magic for any candidate to win over Maine’s voters in this tough political climate, and Bruce Poliquin could be the guy.  Let’s turn to a page from my childhood with the theme from The Magic School Bus:

Climb on THE MAGIC BRUCE BUS
Turn around the economy!
Climb on THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
A former investment banker!
On our Magic School Bus
Did I mention I love TABOR?
On THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS
Such a fine thing to do!

Given Bruce’s recent gun gaffe, perhaps the Poliquin campaign can rewrite  Aerosmith’s Janie’s Got a Gun just to make sure that conservatives know that Bruce really, really, really loves the Second Amendment:

Bruce Poliquin loves guns
Bruce really, really loves guns
Campaign almost came undone
Better promise guns for everyone
What did ol’ Brucey do?
What will be gaffe number two?

Les Otten – Les It Be
Les should turn to The Beatles for some help selling his message – Les it Be:

When I find myself in times of trouble
Leslie Otten comes to me
Speaking works of Wisdom
Les it Be
And in my hour of darkness
Les is standing right in front of me
Speaking words of wisdom
J-O-Bs
J-O-Bs, J-O-Bs, J-O-Bs, J-O-Bs
Les has words of wisdom! Les it Be

Rosa Scarcelli – Rosa Scarcelli!
Democratic businesswoman Rosa Scarcelli’s campaign song is fairly easy.  Though one should probably pick a Bob Dylan song in honor of campaign consultant Dennis Bailey’s Bob Dylan Cover Band, but I think that Bruce Springsteen has the perfect tune:

Rosa Scarcelli!
Change who we send to Augusta
Dennis Bailey!
Our top advisor
She just wants to be Governor, you know why?
We need to change who we send to Augusta!

Pat McGowan – A Little Ditty about Pat McGowan
Just as there isn’t much that rhymes or sounds like Poliquin, there isn’t a ton that fits well with “Pat McGowan.”  Pat McGowan is not only a skilled pilot who can turn our state around, but he’s also…a skilled pilot.  Our good friend John Mellencamp (the next Senator from Indiana?) surely can help with Jack and Diane.

A Little Diddy about Pat Mc-Gowan
Former Commissioner of Conser-va-tion
Crash landed a plane last summer
Near Lew-is-ton

Libby Mitchell – Libby’s Gonna Knock You Out
After campaign losses against U.S. Senator Bill Cohen in 1984 and a less-than-perfect in the 1990 race for the Democratic Nomination in CD-1, Libby Mitchell had huge successes in the Legislature, first as Speaker of the House, now as Senate President.  As Libby goes for the “Triple Crown,” what says Libby Mitchell like LL Cool J?

Don’t call it a comeback
I been here for years!
Rockin my peers and puttin the GOP in fear
Gonna win the big primary vote in June
Listen to the party go BOOM
Explosion, Politico says
Over the competition, I’m towerin!

Steve Abbott – Return to Center
Steve Abbott has an inherent problem in the fact that he’ll need Susan Collins popularity to propel him across the finish line in November, but will need to run away from her more “moderate” positions (like support of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act).  I have to steal an idea from the Capitol Steps from the middle of the Clinton Presidency–after Abbott runs to the right for the primary, he’ll inevitably return to the center should he win the nomination (I asked Matt Gagnon about this paradox yesterday on Drive Time).  Thanks, Elvis:

I worked for Our Senator Susan
She had quite a knack
For hanging in the middle
It’s time that I go back

I better
Return to Center!
Now that I’m back home
No such position
No such tone

Paul LePage – Take Me to the Mardens Guy
Of course, the Mardens jingle is great, but how about Paul Simon’s Take Me to the Mardi Gras?

Take me to the Mardens Guy
For Surplus and Salvage we pay

Any other ideas?